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Can you relate?

A recent graduate from Pure Coaching Academy described herself as a recovering overthinker.

“How brave,” we all thought. “How honest.”

Would you admit to such a condition yourself?

The ability to sacrifice countless hours, dim perfectly good days and gift yourself sleepless nights because you have become devoted to the fine art of the ruination of rumination.

Most of us have been there.

In fact, overthinkers are so committed to the cause we could have our own bumper sticker:

OVERTHINKERS DO IT IN OUR SLEEP.

Or perhaps:

I was going to make a decision, but I thought about it.

What Is Really Going On?

Let’s pull back the curtain on life as a fully paid-up member of Overthinkers Anonymous.

Behind all that apparent deep thinking often lurks:

• A desperate need for certainty
• A desire to control the outcome
• Insecurity
• Distrust of ourselves, others or life itself
• Fear of failure
• Difficulty committing
• Perfectionism
• Risk aversion
• Good old-fashioned fear wearing a clever disguise

To be fair, major life decisions deserve thought and consideration. Choosing a new direction, ending a relationship, starting a business or moving house shouldn’t be decided by throwing darts at a vision board.

But there comes a point where healthy reflection slips into anxiety, catastrophising and the mental equivalent of repeatedly opening the fridge in the hope that new food has appeared.

For academics, philosophers and poets-in-residence, endless pondering may eventually produce a dissertation, a masterpiece or at least a very long footnote.

For the rest of us? It is often a halting mechanism. A sophisticated form of avoidance. Procrastination wearing spectacles and carrying a clipboard.

As a coach, I might give a client some homework and check in a week later.

“How did you get on?”

“I’ve been reflecting.”

Translation: “I’ve done absolutely nothing but I’d like it to sound intellectual.”

Rarely Is Overthinking a Good Investment

Overthinking is like throwing a stone into a washing machine, selecting Fast Spin and then somehow jamming the door.

Round and round your thoughts go. You revisit every possibility, every risk, every conversation and every imagined disaster. Yet remarkably, after six hours of mental gymnastics, you have usually arrived exactly where you started.

Like a hamster powered entirely by anxiety, you are expending enormous energy while travelling precisely nowhere.

Meanwhile opportunities pass by. Life moves on.

How to Stop Overthinking: Practical Steps That Actually Work

If you have recognised yourself as a card-carrying member of Overthinkers Anonymous, here are a few ways to escape the rabbit hole and get back into life’s groove.

Get it out of your head and onto paper.

Map out every option, fear and possibility. Draw arrows. Join the dots. Often the answer becomes obvious once it stops ricocheting around your skull.

Get yourself a Download Doula.

Find a trusted friend who can sit with you while you verbally empty the contents of your mind. Better still, get a coach. Thoughts sound very different when spoken aloud.

Ask a better question.

Instead of “What’s the worst that could happen?” ask “What’s the best that could happen?” Your brain is remarkably obedient. Give it a better brief.

Project forward.

What happens if you do nothing? Fast-forward five years and take a look. Now run the film again with you taking the risk. Which version feels more alive?

Make peace with discomfort.

Growth and comfort rarely share a postcode. Feeling uncomfortable does not mean you are making the wrong decision. Often it means you are making a brave one.

Take a step.

Sign up. Apply. Ask. Start. Commit. Action creates clarity. Thinking rarely does.

You do not need certainty before you move forward. You simply need enough courage to take the next step and trust yourself to handle whatever happens next.

After all, life is not waiting for you to think about it a bit more.

Ready to Stop Thinking About Living and Start Living?

If overthinking has been keeping you stuck – in your career, your relationships or just your own head – a coaching conversation might be exactly what you need.

Book a 30-minute discovery call and let’s get you out of your head and back into your life.