Recent ideas, articles and learnings

If you’ve got a pulse, you’ll have lived a life that has, at some point, demanded you forgive someone. Sometimes the easiest step to forgiveness is realising the other person is a complete idiot. Another good reason to forgive: it annoys the heck out of them too.

But seriously, forgiving someone else is never an easy adult call, though it is one of strength and extreme self-care. You forgive because it helps you.

Forgiving Yourself Is a Different Kind of Hard

Forgiveness of the self, though, is a whole other agony. Our ability to self-punish and thrash around in tortuous self-recrimination knows no bounds. In the spirit of deep compassion, forgive yourself unconditionally for all your goof-ups and shortcomings.

Welcome to the human race. You are perfectly imperfect, like the rest of us.

What You Might Need to Forgive Yourself For

If you’re still struggling, try this list. You need to forgive yourself for:

• Not speaking up for yourself or others to prevent an injustice
• Being too scared to take up a wonderful opportunity
• Not making peace with the shape, colour, size and age of your body
• Loving whole-heartedly without a safety net and then getting hurt
• Trusting people you sensed would let you down
• Letting pity excuse bad behaviour of others
• Thinking other people’s needs were worth more than your own
• Playing small to fit in
• Aiming low
• Settling
• Thinking you didn’t deserve more
• Hiding your light
• Not seeing “it” coming
• Letting fear be bigger than your dreams
• Not being “real” or telling the truth
• Not saying sorry
• Running on empty and making bad decisions
• Neglecting your own wellbeing
• Trying to be perfect to please someone (but it’s still not working)
• Blaming
• Always focusing on the worst-case scenario or catastrophising
• Not getting out sooner of that relationship, job or friendship
• Waiting for others or the situation to change
• Believing in their BS
• Having trust issues and hiding behind them
• Not knowing you are MORE than good enough

How to Use This List

Pick the line that stung the most when you read it. That’s usually the one worth starting with. Say it out loud, write it down, or just sit with it for a minute: “I forgive myself for…” It won’t erase the memory, but it loosens its grip.

This kind of self-forgiveness work is often where coaching starts: unpicking the guilt you’ve been carrying for so long you’ve stopped noticing it’s there. Is it time to book that call with me? Book here.