How to manage the “How”
So my question to you this week – is the scariest thing in your life YOU at the moment? Do you, like me, regularly scare yourself witless? No I don’t just mean the face worse than death that is the horror of the morning mirror nor when you step on the scales of injustice and it’s gone from sylph to sumo overnight.
No, I mean when you see a wonderful dream unfolding before you, a knee-knockingly exciting path opening and as your smile goes off the Glee scale you default to impending doom by pushing the H bomb in your psyche.
H bomb? In coach speak it’s the “How? word.
You see what you want and you want it so much it hurts and suddenly the awesomeness of the “HOW the heck am I going to do that?” opens up a chasm of terror the duvet and grey life of ho-humdom seems infinitely preferable.
Short of quick drying concrete or a shot of botox to the soul you won’t find anything so guaranteed to keep you frozen in excuse mode.
In the “How?” you will find doubt and the existential horror of “not knowing”. It is the one thing guaranteed to tie boulders around your dreams and keep you in a place of procrastination and fear.
Here are some typical situations when the How? scares you into submission:
- How am I ever going to make money out of this business idea?
- How will I handle my success when I make millions/write the next “Harry Potter”, find someone to love me?
- And again, How can I support myself when I need to day job?
- How will I ever get there when I don’t know anything about this subject?
- How will I sustain this?
- Can I get people to take me seriously?
- How will I handle it when my partner leaves/I leave them or I lose my job/get that job?Add your own here …
How to handle the “How?”
Scaring ourselves into complete stasis means it makes it easier not to bother and stick to the discomfort of the comfort zone. Why bother? It’s all a bit too tough this life on Easy Street you’ll reason.
Here are some other ways of defusing the H bomb:
- Do first what you do know. Do what is achievable, do it, then take stock. What can you do next?
- Ask yourself – what do I need to believe and trust in to get me where I want to be?
- What possible negative belief are you currently holding that could be sabotaging your dream? ie “I’m not good enough.” “I always fail.” “Nobody will want me.” “I’m not creative.” “Deep down I’m a loser.” “I always struggle so this going to be tough”.
- What new belief could replace this?
- Think of a car head lights. They don’t have to illuminate the whole road to your destination before you but a few feet at a time will still get you there safely.
- Plot stepping stones to your goal. Make small achievable goals along the way and celebrate when you get to them.
- When you feel fear looming do something to distract yourself and remind yourself of your goal with photos and images that keep the dream alive and make your heart sing
- Act “as if” the dream/goal was already a reality. Beam the great feelings you will feel when you get there and you will attract the things you need to you.
Or fast track your daydreams and make them a reality and book a 30 minute consultation here.
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