Harry What-er? Real Magical Thinking part 2
Aug 22, 2011
hank you for all your great comments and feedback on last month’s newsletter about wishful thinking vs finger crossing. Dreams, you tell me and I know, can come true. Only this week one client has gone on to secure a job in a premiership football club which in his own words was a “guy’s dream gig” Some of you are writing books and getting them published, others starting their own business or are simply discovering they are “being” who they’ve always wanted to be – confident, less stressy, real.
Whether your dream is to care a lot less what others may be thinking about you or you want to start a community arts project, your wish can be your own command. I recently let my own genie out of the bottle.
Can I share? In the past fortnight I have achieved something I have quietly longed for over 20 years. With a background in journalism I have always desired my own column in a national newspaper.
Thinking it would be an arduous process, like climbing K2 in stilettos, I was exhausted and defeated just by the very thought of it. And, in truth, a bit scared too. You know how it is when you imagine how painful something is going to be before you even start it? Why bother? becomes the easy out.
What it you fail and it feels agonizing and you’re worse of than when you started because no you have your hopes dashed?
So on a quiet afternoon, feeling cool and unbothered by the outcome (and this is key - a trusting indifference), I emailed the editor of a national newspaper directly and suggested, (big deep breath) as there was so much bad news and anxiety out there he might consider a column devoted to happiness.
His response? “I’m having a xxxx day…”, the return email growled.
Blithely I suggested he give up journalism and re-train as a coach (!) as coaching rocks and left it at that. A day later the features editor was on the phone asking for copy for Monday’s paper. Panic stricken and in so much melt-down I need a mop I had no option but rise to the challenge.
So here I am the proud writer of the Happy Mondays column in the Daily Express. (cue applause)
Thank you.
Now here’s the learning. Be careful of walking into doors that are already open. By that I mean – don’t always assume the journey will be a tough one just because it has been in the past. Take the first step, then another and pretty soon the path opens up.
I don’t know how long this bit of good fortune will last. Perhaps only a month. Maybe it will run and run. Newspapers are volatile places these days as you know. So I’m going through the spiritual contortions of holding my breath and expecting the worst whilst daring to allow myself the wonder and joy of a moment I have craved for so long.
Quite often life never quite feels as we imagine it will when we achieve something that has meant so much to us, in fact it can feel downright bewildering. You run the marathon, get that promotion, meet someone who thinks you’re god’s gift (and you are, of course) and life feels great.
But being the easily shaken, never satisfied creative and ever evolving beasts we are we look around again for the next thing that will deliver us a taste, yet again, of that blinding flash of deep satisfaction. It seems hard to trust life and what we’ve achieved and that is exactly what we have to do.
So following on from last month’s Magical Thinking Tips – here is another 10 to help you go from lethargy to legendary
- It’s OK to feel down and negative about things sometimes– don’t argue with your emotions or judge them
- Set yourself up to succeed – book out time, space and do whatever you need to be at your best
- Cosmonauts can feel lonely when drifting in outer space. Make sure you have a community or buddy coach when reaching for the stars
- It’s not your job to keep everyone happy or to people please. Happiness is 100% our own responsibility so give up people pleasing for your own sake
- Be audacious. Ask for things and keep asking
- Be the first to smile and the last to ask “how much?”
- You don’t always need to know how you just need to decide
- There is genius in commitment and freedom in control – dithering doesn’t cut it
- Always be open to receive outrageous joy
- Assume it could be easy – there’s a 50% chance it might be!
You could always book a 30 minute free telephone taster session – email me caroleann@realcoachingco.com
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some 'magical thinking'
I had to take a moment to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your recent newsletter. The passage that relates the story of your journey is such a gift to your readers. While I can't speak on behalf of your entire audience, I want you to know that I have read this section over every day since you sent it. It has absolutely lifted me. Your honesty, humour and tips are invaluable. Thank you for sharing your experience with us and proving that having a clear goal; with some 'magical thinking' thrown in is the way.
I can't wait for your next 10 tips!
Sarah Hobley - Executive Assistant
