Unhook from the Flitterati
Jul 27, 2012Do you ever feel love-bombed by choice? The agonizing daily decision-making dilemmas, from choosing off a menu, to which of the 26 varieties of mayonnaise on offer you wish to buy, can all be a nightmare. The world of infinite possibilities are but a mouse click away and never before has so many options available to the human race.
It's no wonder procrastination is the new pandemic.
Do you, like me, crave simplicity?
Choice is supposed to give us freedom yet somehow it seems to have blindsided us with confusion, stress and unlimited options. One can't help have a sort of Hitchcockian sense of creeping paranoia about making the "right" choices in life.
This demands leaving the door open, waiting, avoiding, weighing things up "just in case" and you don't want to limit yourself, or rule anything out or close a door on choice - so best to stay put for a while and think it over; not make any hasty decisions. After all there's no rush and besides a clear road hasn't suggested itself yet. Sound familiar?
And before you know it you've grown a beard, crow's feet and are still no further along the line of being on a meaningful life path. Are you one of those people who just can't make their minds up? Should you stay or should you go? Should you date or dump? Why do you always want what someone else has ordered?
Of course you want to chase your bliss. But what exactly is it? Is it a year out so you can help in orphanages in Africa or work in an orangutan sanctuary? Do you fancy dropping it all to become a landscape gardener or photographer?
If it helps you are not alone.
Welcome to the Flitteratti
If you want to know if you are a Flitterer here's a simple test.
- You answer questions - "Yes. No..." but don't realise you do it.
- You always think there is something better round the corner so don't commit to the present.
- You half finish or abandon courses, writing projects, keep fit classes, diets etc.
- You find it very stressful to make a decision from anything from a night out to a career move.
- Travel always seems the best way out.
- You wait for Fate to deal with situations rather than make a decision yourself. Then when you do, you complain about what's happened.
- You get anxious about making the wrong decision.
- Perfectionism is a bit too important.
- You're often exhausted by your indecision and neurotic thoughts.
- You "leave the door open" on relationships in case someone better comes along.
- In the end you do nothing.
Committing To Your Life - How scary is that?
With so many incredible choices out there of course it is important to chose the right path and deal with the consequences. But when you are crippled by procrastination and indecision you may find that life passes you by as you ponder away the years.
You are not alone. I have coached scores of people young and not so, who are beginning to find some relief in not doing everything and committing to something at last.
Here are a few coaching questions to help the Flitter-minded settle on a path of purpose and passion:
- What would your life look and feel like if you fully committed to something?
- What would you have to believe in to do that?
- If you don't make the decision what do you expect to happen?
- What might you regret about not committing yourself?
- Finishing this sentence - "Being responsible means...."
Searching for happiness or lassoing your passion is often the backbone to coaching sessions. This is great when the coach is guiding you through the process of goal setting and coming up with strategies to get you to your destination.
some 'magical thinking'
I had to take a moment to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your recent newsletter. The passage that relates the story of your journey is such a gift to your readers. While I can't speak on behalf of your entire audience, I want you to know that I have read this section over every day since you sent it. It has absolutely lifted me. Your honesty, humour and tips are invaluable. Thank you for sharing your experience with us and proving that having a clear goal; with some 'magical thinking' thrown in is the way.
I can't wait for your next 10 tips!
Sarah Hobley - Executive Assistant