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Below you can read some previous newsletters to get a feel for the sort of information 'Wit & Wisdom' will provide. Subscribe now!

• Wit & Wisdom 32
• Wit & Wisdom 31
• Wit & Wisdom 30

Wit and Wisdom 32 - Beware The H Bomb in Your Psyche

The newsletter for the courageous and the creative who want to change the world - theirs and ours.

Contents

• The dirty word in personal development
• How To Handle the How
• Other News
• Bug Bear of the Week
• Quote of the Week

Do you know anyone who could do with a pep in their step and glide in their stride? Why not sign them up to my newsletter and change someone's world today.

Altruism broadens the soul and helps my company grow!

Visit www.realcoachingco.com and sign them in.

Dear Chris,

Welcome to all my wonderfully responsive subscribers old and new. Lovely to have you on board. I hope life is feeling good and getting you to where you're destined to be. This newsletter takes 5 minutes to read. Enjoy the ride.

So my question to you this week - is the scariest thing in your life YOU at the moment? Do you, like me, regularly scare yourself witless? No I don't just mean that moment of abject horror that is the bathroom mirror in the morning or when you step on the scales of injustice and it's gone from sylph to sumo overnight.

No, I mean when you see a wonderful dream unfolding before you; a new pathway or goal that, in its moment of desire and realization, promises untold joy, satisfaction, love and fulfillment and then in the next nano second roots you to the spot by pushing the H bomb in your psyche. H bomb? In coach speak it's the "How? word.

You see what you want and you want it so much it hurts and suddenly the awesomeness of the "HOW the heck am I going to do that?" opens up a chasm of terror you find yourself spiraling down into the void of fear.

Short of quick drying concrete or a shot of botox to the soul you won't find anything so guaranteed to keep you frozen in trepidation and despair.

In the "How?" you will find doubt, confusion, the dreadful "not knowing" and this soon translates into feelings of doom. As a coach I know it is the one thing guaranteed to tie boulders around your dreams and keep you in a place of procrastination and fear.

Here are some typical situations when the How? scares you into submission:

• How am I ever going to make money out of this goal/dream? Closely followed by...
• How will I handle my success when I make millions/write the next Harry Potter book, have bodyguards/find someone to love me?
• How can I keep this dream alive?
• How will I ever get there when I don't know anything about this subject?
• How can I get people to take me seriously?
• How will I sustain this?
• How will I handle it when my partner leaves/I leave them or I lose my job/get that job?
• Sound familiar?

How to Handle the "How?"

I don't know about you but I'm already getting the shivers. Scaring ourselves into complete stasis means it makes it easier not to bother, to stick to the discomfort of the comfort zone, retreat into despondency. Why bother?, we sigh in resignation.

It all seems so awesome to try and predict and control outcomes that are way ahead in our future. It scares us to not know how things will work out. It means we have to rely on faith and trust to motivate us and that's a big ask.

But as a coach I know what does move people on and it's all a lot less scary than you might think. It's about taking baby steps. The smallest step in the direction of your goal is one place nearer to where you want to be.

Maybe it's doing some research, asking for help, sending that email, getting support, shining a light into what you don't know and move that one step along.

Here are some other ways of defusing the H bomb:

• Do first what you do know. Do what is achievable, do it, then take stock. What can you do next?
• Ask yourself - what do I need to believe and trust in to get me where I want to be?
• What possible negative belief are you currently holding that could be sabotaging your dream? ie "I'm not good enough." "I always fail." "Nobody will want me." "I'm not creative." "Deep down I'm a loser." "I always struggle so this going to be tough".
• What new belief could replace this?
• Think of a car head lights. They don't have to illuminate the whole road to your destination before you but a few feet at a time will still get you there safely.
• Plot stepping stones to your goal. Make small achievable goals along the way and celebrate when you get to them.
• When you feel fear looming do something to distract yourself and remind yourself of your goal with photos and images that keep the dream alive and make your heart sing
• Act "as if" the dream/goal was already a reality. Beam the great feelings you will feel when you get there and you will attract the things you need to you.

I have worked with countless people who terrified by the "How?" found themselves where they wanted to be by taking these simple steps. Just as when I started out as a coach 5 years ago I didn't know how I would fill my practice and that terrified me. What if I did crash and burn and ended up drinking meths in a doorway and reading Heat magazine?

Now my practice is booming and I'm growing a new corporate coaching business www.realcoachingsolutions.co.uk and I know now that the "how" magically made itself known to me all along my journey.

Question - So, Chris, in what way are you going to stop the "how" from getting what you want in life?

Answer - by booking a 30-minute free session with me right now at - that's how!

Other News

My friend Jennie Bayliss of Red Dandelion Coaching hosts Life Strategies - weekends where you get to create your own Life Plan. Jennie's approach is both practical and spiritual as she weaves together coaching, life skills teaching, healing and mentoring. The weekend venues are all in idyllic locations - the beauty of each place adding to the energy of the weekend and to be enjoyed in the early morning walks. For more information, please see www.reddandelion.co.uk.

For those of you looking for a new career direction you may be interested in becoming a hypnotherapist. Top TV hypnotherapist Ursula James is running the Hypnova Training Clinical Hypnosis Practitioner course from April 23rd-27th. A week of classroom training is followed by a 10 week home course leads to a university approved qualification.

Go to www.ursulajames.com and go to "training" to download full details or email Ursula@ursulajames.com and mention you read about it here to get 10% off the course price.

Bug Bear of the Week

Seb of Newmarket this month simply wants to get this simple sentence off his chest this week "what is the point of the socialite Paris Hilton?" he groans. Answers on a pin head please.

If you've got a bug bear to air send it to me and book a free coaching session with me if I print it. Email

Quote of the Week

"Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got" - Garth Brooks

Have a powerful day.

Carole Ann

x

• The Real Coaching Co
• 10 Sunderland Road
• Ealing, London
• W5 4JY
• GB

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Wit and Wisdom 31 - It's all about you, baby

The newsletter for the courageous and the creative who want to change the world - theirs and ours.

Contents - The One Where The Clients Do All The Work

• Whittle While You Work
• If You Do Nothing Else
• The Do It Diet Club
• Shopping Opportunity
• Bug Bear Platform
• Quote of the Month

Wit and Wisdom Newsletter - join the learning curve.

Do you know anyone who could do with a pep in their step and glide in their stride? Why not sign them up to my newsletter and change someone's world today.

Altruism broadens the soul and helps my company grow!

Visit www.realcoachingco.com and sign them in.

Dear Chris,

Welcome to all my wonderfully responsive subscribers old and new. Lovely to have you on board. I hope life is feeling good and getting you to where you're destined to be. This newsletter takes 5 minutes to read. Enjoy the ride.

Have you ever dreamed of getting paid to do nothing? Just think of a life of creative loafing. Sighing with delight when the alarm goes off, loving the boss (that's you) and smiling like you've got a coat hanger stuck in your mouth. Sound good?

Well, that's me that is. I do nothing with my clients all day except help them locate the key which will unlock the dreams, seek the solution to melt down the blockages and red carpet the way to their full potential.

Of course I've studied to become a coach for many years and will continue to do so, how can we ever learn enough about our infinite complexities? It's a lifelong trip.

But when it comes to success, satisfaction and having the eureka moment, that's all down to you. So I'm going to kick back awhile and let my clients do the work for this month, you'll find me on the sofa reading Capote with a cuppa. Nudge me when you're done.

It's all about you, baby

At the beginning of the coaching relationship my clients struggle like a fish caught on the end of a hook of their own making; thrashing this way and that and trying everything they can to detach from their pain but finding what? Nothing but more struggle.

They sound incredulous as I ask some seemingly dumb questions and go silent when I offer an alternative perspective to a well worn tunnel of vision.

Then something rather wonderful happens. As my fabulous client Saimia, a personal trainer, recently revealed:

'A few months ago I was totally stressed out, struggling to make my business work and desperately hoping life would get better. I started coaching and with one session with you and I had a renewed sense of positivity. '

'And here's the strange thing, it's not until recently that a light has literally come on, and all the wise words and reinforcements I had been hearing suddenly clicked in. I am now able to find solutions and rid myself of stomach-churning anguish, your coaching has become what I do and what I am.'

But I did nothing. Saimia did everything. It's not about me and all about you, what you do and how you are being. You are more powerful than you know. All I do is show you the hook/belief/or helpful way of thinking you're attached to and help you find your own way free of it.

Whittle While You Work - a client's insight

My courageous new client ChrisB was struggling with the coaching process; resisting, challenging and questioning (which is always part of the journey too) until he had his own 'a-ha!' breakthrough moment.

Unhappy, frustrated, angry and often despairing Chris had tried everything to feel 'accepted'. He wanted to know what I could suggest he try differently, new techniques and approaches he hadn't tried before. I don't really do that 'give advice thing' I informed him. He seemed unimpressed.

But I did ask how he was 'being' and what he was 'believing' around this issue and took it from there. A week or so later I got this:

'And then I got it! What it is you are doing,' he told me. 'It's like when I once saw an artist in Covent Garden whittling a masterpiece out of a mis-shapen piece of wood. The artist knew something perfect and beautiful was in there and could see it, even though nobody else could.'

I love this coaching analogy as it perfectly sums up the chipping away and coming together of all the potential and possibility that coaching seeks to help you find.

So, Chris, how far away are you from being your masterpiece?

What do you need to let go of to get there?

If you want to take the next step forward then contact me now for a 30 minute coaching consultation on me

If you do nothing else...

Occasionally clients write to me to tell me what they're attracting months after they have graduated from coaching. This week I got this eye-popping email -

I just wanted to let you know that I did a trade show in Glasgow in January and secured orders for a shop in Edinburgh, Leith and Co Antrim, and a gallery in Inverness . I have my work in an exhibition of up and coming artists in Glasgow , preview tonight (!) and have just had a commission for one of my stuffed creatures for a video production company in London and another 3 commissions for stuffyourdoodles.

Now I have www.stuffyourdoodles.com up and running and Googled my other website and was 4 of the top 10 searches!!... and I am still breathing.. if very quickly!! Just wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU!!! - Lucy.

Nothing to do with me, Luce. I didn't even break a sweat.

If you do nothing else today visit stuffyourdoodles and never think your idea is a non-goer or too 'out there' again. Truly inspirational.

Shopping Opportunity - Consider this an ad break

If you're looking for some really helpful personal development workbooks visit my business coaching website www.realcoachingsolutions.co.uk where my colleague coach Susan Tomlinson and I have written and produced 2 exciting e-books - Fast Track Your Goals and Speaking For Success (your complete guide to giving the killer presentation) - a total snip at £5.99.

Click on Success Store and get shopping.

The Do It Diet Club

If you're sick of seeing a sumo in the bath, had enough of wondering what your toes are doing or fed up of failing in the fat stakes then join the club. The Do It Diet Club in fact. It has no entry fee except your commitment to lose weight.

I team you up with another dieting subscriber, send you the rules and you 'coach' and support each other via email until you get to your desired weight. I lost 9lbs this way, easily and with fun.

Once again it's over to you.

'This diet buddy thing is really good! For the first time I feel accountable to someone else for my weight. I have continued with exercise 3 x a week (yeah!) and am drinking lots of water. I am proud of that - Maria

Want to meet friends and lose a bit of yourself? Contact me now and I'll match you up with a suitable 'diet coach'.

What (or how much) have you got to lose?

Bug Bear of the Month

Thanks to regular contributor Chris Smith for this month's everyday annoyance. Send yours in and the winning one gets a 60 min coaching session.

'Those Baby/Little Princess/Naughty Person On Board stickers on the rear of car windows get me. Are the drivers (who seem almost without exception the worst on the road) really kidding themselves that I'm going to drive any more carefully than usual just because I'm aware there is (sometimes) a child in the back?'

Can't answer that but what about Irascible Driver On Board sticker? Might clear the fast lane, Chris.

Quote of the Month

Find out who you are and then do it on purpose - as seen on a T-shirt

Well that's it. Thanks for reading this far. I'm dreaming of my next goal, it's big and its' scary and it means getting up off the sofa. See you there,

Have the life

Carole Ann

X

PPS. If you enjoyed this newsletter why not sign up to my business coaching newsletter at www.realcoachingsolutions.co.uk too?

• The Real Coaching Co
• 10 Sunderland Road
• Ealing, London
• W5 4JY
• GB

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Wit and Wisdom 30 - So You Say You Want A Resolution?

The newsletter for the courageous and the creative who want to change the world - theirs and ours.

Contents

• Forget Will Power - Time to duvet dream that new life
• Cleanse Tone Moisturise - The foundation steps to a fabulous life
• Pick and Mix
• The Do It Diet Club
• Bug Bear Platform
• Quote of the Month

Wit and Wisdom Newsletter - join the learning curve.

Do you know anyone who could do with pep in their step and glide in their stride? Why not sign them up to my newsletter and change someone's world today.

Altruism broadens the soul and helps my company grow!

Visit www.realcoachingco.com and sign them in.

Dear Chris,

Happy New Year to you and welcome to all my new subscribers who signed up in the past fortnight. What better time of year to tune into a life coach's newsletter and get some cool ideas on how to get the life you've always wanted? It's all out there waiting for you, y'know?

You can probably picture it now. There you are in your dream vision; a slimmer more confident you, enjoying a job where you get the recognition you deserve and the space in which to flourish.

You're a love magnet with a dizzying social diary, your book has hit the Waterstones' top ten and you're driving a six figure salary. You make Daniel Craig look like a slouch; Oprah Winfrey a slacker. Hey, you'd ask someone to peel you a grape but you're not sure if it's on your personal nutritionist's carefully customised meal planner.

What's that? I'm going a bit too fast? This is pie in the sky stuff? Well maybe. It's important to keep one's goals realistic which is precisely why so many New Year's resolutions don't work. If you set the bar too high you'll only hate yourself to failing to reach it and then you'll be back at square one, only this time with your inner critic high-fiving your psyche with 'toldya you couldn't do it!'

As a coach I find every day offers that New Year's Day opportunity to reach for more happiness, greater meaning or the profound pleasure of dropping a dress size.

But remember too, this is among the most dull and dreary time's of the year and it's OK to feel overwhelmed by the amount of work you need to do on yourself to get you where you want to be.

The post Xmas slump leaves your waistband extended, your bank account depleted and you feel about as toxic as Sellafield's welcome mat. For UK subscribers too, all this amid the greyest, most interminable couple of months of the year.

As comic John Cleese once said about the great British winter: 'It's like the First World War. You go in, but you're not sure whether you'll come out alive!'

What more dismal time to start jogging, giving up alcohol, commence dieting and taking on life changing directions which demand high energy and commitment? This is a time for duvets and dreaming.

When you have to rely on will power as your motivator you are more likely to fail. Willpower is not sustainable and is draining. What will you rely on when the willpower runs out?

When I coach my clients I prefer to tap into 'want to' power which makes the whole change and commitment process easier and more enjoyable. You feel compelled towards change rather than using the carping 'shoulds' and 'oughts' to get you there.

But let's get back to those gorgeous dreams. These are nothing more than goals you've yet to make real and they are often more achievable than you think.

Like you I have been in the slough of despair in jobs I loathed, situations that depleted my confidence and relationships that questioned my sanity. My biggest fear being that I will never meet my own potential in this life. But with coaching I have turned my life around 360 degrees.

Once you start to take baby steps towards your vision it is amazing how quickly they become giant strides.

So from the comfort of your duvet I ask you to take a tablet of fine lined paper and with the simple steps below start planning a path to your dreams. Bet you won't be lying there for long.

Cleanse Tone Moisturise - the Three Main Steps to The Life You Want

Cleanse

• Look at what is draining your energy. Decide to limit your time with energy vampires - family or friends who drain you, chores you deplore (share a cleaner, delegate, have shopping delivered), or work that demeans you. Is your work/community/relationship supporting you? What needs to change?
• Let Go of Negative Emotions - bitterness, jealousy, resentment, self pity, anger, fear, low self esteem - write down all the things that you feel are causing these emotions. It's OK to have them but are they dominating your moods now? Where did they come from? Who are you being when you are like that? What would life look like without that fear in it?

Tone

• What are your values? Get in touch with what your values are. When we live in our values everyday feels rewarding and effortless. Email me caroleann@realcoachingco.com for more information on how to discover your values, live in them and align your goals to them.
• Stop struggling. Make your life less complicated. Aim to stop struggling with ways of being that don't work anymore, ask yourself 'how can I make this easy?' when faced with an onerous problem. Don't sweat the small stuff and see your energy soar.

Moisturise

• Dare to dream. List all the things you want and put down steps (no matter how small or vague) that will take you there. Cut out pictures from magazines to represent this goal and make a montage so you can keep the dream alive daily. Be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and be sure to believe it can happen. Without belief the dream stays in the clouds and not starting to form in reality.
• Build in incentives. Reward and acknowledge yourself along the journey. This way you will enjoy the process, see the changes and teleport yourself to where you want to be.

Pick and Mix

Can't see the wood for the trees? Finding it hard to see a goal, a way out or get clarity on your current situation? Many clients come to a coach in this fog of confusion. Why not book a 30 minute free telephone coaching consultation as a starting point to change. Email me now on caroleann@realcoachingco.com

But in the meantime here is a thought storm of ideas to get you started.

In 2007 why not...?

Extend your community. Join liked-minded folk in interest groups. Stop gossiping, Ditch prevarication. Re-train. Refuse to sit in the shadow of less talented people. Quit blaming. Focus on what you do have not what is missing. Give up 'putting off'. Forgive yourself.

Honour your originality. Dare to be you. Speak up. Live on purpose.

The Do It Diet Club

Pinching more than an inch on your waistline? Join the club, literally. The Do It Diet Club is a free service I am offering my subscribers. It works to the principle that you team up with another dieting buddy and you keep each other on track via email until you reach your desired goals. So far one pair of diet buddies have lost 6lbs between them since Xmas and say: 'The Do

It Diet club is a great idea. I really like emailing my diet buddy and because I know I will be reporting back to her about my progress it helps keep me focused. I've made a good friend too.'

If you would like more information about this please email me caroleann@realcoachingco.com for more information.

Bug Bear Platform

Air your gripes and groans here. A free coaching 60 minute session goes to KT of Oxford this month for this observation.

'My gripe that I hate most is overhearing someone who says, when looking at somebody else's book or creation, 'I could do better than that'. I always want to say back well, get off your butt and prove it then. But of course they never will.'

You're right KT, talk is cheap. So what gets your goat? Email me now.

Quote of the Month

Whatever you can dream you can do, begin it. For boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now - Goethe

PS. If you're interested, this year I am committed to starting to write a book, continue with my running, get my subscribers list up to 1000, increase and expand my business on every level, drink less, rest more and secure a column in one of the nationals.

Is your duvet flying yet, Chris?

Have fun

Carole Ann

X

PPS. If you enjoyed this newsletter why not sign up to my business coaching newsletter at www.realcoachingsolutions.co.uk too?

• The Real Coaching Co
• 10 Sunderland Road
• Ealing, London
• W5 4JY
• GB

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